Party Like It's 1984

By Frank Anthony Polito

Just got around to watching the Carrie Diaries pilot, and wanted to write about it real quick. Now, it might be hard to believe that I wasn't a big Sex And The City fan (I often call it Sex IN the City), but when it first aired on HBO, we didn't have cable, so... But I've seen a few choice episodes ("Funky Spunk," Miranda's actor b/f who likes to get naked onstage, the one with, I don't know, some guy named "Big"), so it's not like I'm totally unfamiliar with the story. 

I was reading in the Post this morning that the CD pilot wasn't that well-watched. Only something like 1.6 million viewers. (If only I could get 1.6 million people to buy a copy of one of my books!) I posted the other day on Facebook about it, and I got a pretty 50/50 response from those who were for/against the concept of the new show, so I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch or not.

Suffice to say, I'm glad I did. I thought it was cute, for the most part. Though I will still list my complaints here. Call me whatever... I'd rather see an '80s-themed TV show called Band Fags! But maybe that's just me? Over the past few years, whenever I did approach anyone about creating a TV show, I was told that doing a "period piece" based on Band Fags! would NEVER happen as it's way too gay co$tly. Perhaps if the Carrie Diaries does succeed, it will open up the possibilities to other shows set in the Awesome '80s?

Now for my complaints... Other than the music -- which seemed like there was a different song playing in the background almost every five minutes -- the show itself didn't feel very 1980s. None of the characters; hairstyling was right. Carrie's hair is way too long and stringy, and where are the bangs? All the girls I knew back in Hazeltucy circa 1984 had bangs! And the guys... They all parted our hair straight down the middle. No guy would dare a side-part! And Carrie's dad should totally be rocking a porn-stache.

The fashion, I suppose, felt a little more spot on. A few of the more "popular" girls are seen wearing neon. But where are the parachute pants?! Yes, I suppose they did go out of style in 1983, but... And those gay guys dancing with Carrie at Indochine... Not that I didn't appreciate some hot men-on-men action (good for The CW to go there!) But both those dudes were way too muscular for 1984 standards! Just look at Rob Lowe, who featured prominently in this particular episode.

Back to the music, really quick... It was nice to hear Depeche Mode's "I Just Can't Get Enough" -- which is my all-time fave  by the band -- but might I suggest that if you're going to use Madonna's "Material Girl" and you can NOT get the rights, do NOT use a cover. Not sure where they got the version they used in this episode -- or the slow version of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" -- sung by a guy -- they used near the end. Thankfully, the original by Ms. Lauper eventually kicked in.

My only other "complaint" harkens back to the feeling of the show...  If you didn't know it was set in 1984 and you turned it on, it would look/feel like almost every other show airing on The CW today. Now this might be a good thing in that it says "things haven't changed much in 29 years," but I can't help but think it really says "we aren't willing to totally take a risk and be authentic."

Still, I'll most likely tune in next week to see what happens next...